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David
Thomas Prosise
May 31, 2004
12:05 PM
2 Pounds 15 ounces
15 Inches
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On Dec 3rd, 2003, we found out we were pregnant with twins.
We were cautiously optimistic. The babies were
only seven weeks old. In late January 2004, as the first
trimester came to a close, we began to really hope that we would
deliver the twins and our excitement grew. Unfortunately, on
February 11th, 2004 those hopes were dashed. At a level
II ultrasound appointment, "Baby A" (David) displayed
four different markers for genetic disorder. We were counseled to
have an amniocentesis done. The amniocentesis diagnosed David with
a genetic disorder called Trisomy 18. We were told that this
condition was "incompatible with life" and that David
would die. This could occur in the womb, thereby jeopardizing the
healthy "Baby B's" survival, or sometime after birth.
Most Trisomy 18 babies do not survive beyond the first week of
life. Those who learned we were expecting after that day were told we were having
a son. It was too hard to discuss the terrible sadness of our
inevitable loss and the danger to Connor during the pregnancy. Now
that we've had some time to heal, we want to acknowledge David's
brief life. We also want to thank him for surviving, allowing his
younger brother, Connor, to survive a preterm birth at 33
weeks. At 32 weeks, the excessive amniotic fluid in David's
sack burst and I was hospitalized for the remainder of the
pregnancy. The doctors at Hoag did what they could to keep
Connor safe, but five days later, an infection that had developed
in David's sac spread to Connor's sac and caused it to also
rupture. With Connor's health in jeopardy, the twins were delivered
via c-section several hours later.
This page contains pictures of David Thomas. David only
survived for three hours. These are the only pictures we have of
him. We were not at our best after the birth. We didn't
think to take any pictures as we sat in our post-delivery room
with one twin in the NICU and the other in Jeff's arms struggling
to breath. It was such a profound, numbing sadness. There are no
words to describe how we felt. The NICU staff at Hoag took
most of the pictures with a Polaroid. We're very grateful
that they did this otherwise we would just have two pictures from
the delivery room. Please note, these pictures will probably make
you feel sad, perhaps cry.
David means "beloved" and Thomas means "twin"
thus David Thomas is Connor's "beloved twin." We
believe that David will always be with Connor, watching over him
and keeping him safe, much as he did for the 33 weeks in which
they were together in utero.
We will always love you, David. Blessed Be.
"Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." ~ Gandalf
Click on the thumbnails below to see pictures of David. Use your browser's back button to return to this
page.
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On Mar 6th, 2005, David's ashes were scattered three miles off the coast of
Newport Beach; the city in which he was born, lived and passed on. The following are pictures and readings from the
service. |
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I am Mother
Earth and the source of all creation,
I have given birth to planets, to stars, to entire galaxies.
All that is may call me Mother.
Yet I have also birthed empty husks of dead worlds and
Seen the lightless void in the universe where
My children did not thrive.
I have known the pain of losing a newly born child.
My heart stopped suddenly when I realized
My newborn cries no more.
I, who am the great earth mother of all have cried
Bitter tears over the loss of my children.
And to you who have shared in such loss,
I say this:
Have no guilt and harbor no hatred to yourself,
For your loss is heavy and your grief, enough to bear.
There is no place to go,
Except the place of healing and remembrance,
For all that is, for all that was and all that will be.
Do not, as others may tell you, try to give this love to your other
children.
Do not, as others may tell you, dedicate this love to the creative
Works of your hands.
This love is a gift from this child, David, unique and special to
both of you.
It cannot be transferred or suppressed, only cherished.
For no other person or need can fill the place in your heart this
child
Occupies and know your heart can still love him
Until you meet again.
Look to the stars at night and know that they are
Your brothers and your sisters.
They know your grief and will help you bear your
Anger and your sorrow.
Look to the Sun and see the bright face of the
Lord of Light.
He will be there to warm you against the
Shivering cold of loss.
Look to the moon and see me.
I will always be there to share your sorrow
And to hold you when the pain is too much.
But look, too, within yourself,
To the great love that makes you whole.
Feel the fullness of the child within you,
And know that your child loves you still.
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He did but float a little way
Adown the stream of time;
With dreamy eyes catching the ripples play,
Or listening their fairy chime.
His slender sail
Ne’er felt the gale;
He did but float a little way,
And, putting to the shore
While yet ‘twas early day,
Went calmly on his way,
To dwell with us no more!
No jarring did he feel,
No grating on his vessel’s keel;
A strip of yellow sand
Mingled the waters with the land,
Where he was seen no more:
O stern word – nevermore!
Full short his journey was; no dust
Of earth into his sandals clave;
The weary weight that old men must,
He bore not to the grave.
He seemed a cherub who had lost his way
And wandered hither, so his stay
With us was short, and ‘twas most meet
That he would be no delve in earth’s clod,
Nor need to pause and cleanse his feet
To stand before his god:
O blest word – evermore!
James Russell Lowell
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 Daddy
and Connor in the yacht on the way to the service site. |
 Mommy
and Connor saying goodbye to David. |
 Daddy
scatters David's ashes off the coast of Newport Beach. |
 David's
final resting place is located at N 33 34.185 / W 117 52.900. |
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Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across a distant shore
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping
What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver-glass
A light on the water
All souls pass
Hope fades
Until the world of night
Through shadows' falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping
What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver-glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West
Annie Lennox
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All picture are Copyright © 2004 -
2005 Grisel Gonzalez unless otherwise noted
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED |
